Holy Sugar Honey Iced Tea!!!!

*This post contains some language that may be inappropriate for some readers

Sometimes I am stupid. I have been running on sore feet for months now. In my twisted thinking, the pain was worth the tingly, giddy high I get from running.

Our insurance year is coming to an end and since we had met the out-of-pocket and everything would be covered until the end of June, I finally decided to go get things checked out. Plantar Fasciitis was the verdict. Sleeping with night splints and cortisone shots was the agreed upon treatment.

Yesterday I went in for my cortisone shots. Holy Hell-a-mighty!!!!!!! He warned me that they hurt. In fact he said, "These are extremely painful" multiple times and he gave me a prescription for Valium I was to take 1 hour prior to the procedure. Here was my thought process on this: "Surely they can't be that bad. Valium? Really? I am tough. I am not afraid of needles. I can totally do this. Valium? Don't need it, but I bet it will give me a nice legitimate high. I better fill that prescription."

I took the Valium. It did nothing!!!!!!! I was so disappointed. I got a little light headed on the drive over and that was it.

The whole fam went to the office with me, since I was supposed to be unable to drive. Hubby and the boys waited in the waiting room, but DQ insisted on going in with me. She was fascinated by the whole thing. She asked everyone questions and informed them when there was blood that needed wiped up. I have a video of her version, but for some reason it won't load. I'll post it later.

This is my version: Holy Shit, Hell, Damn, Dumb Bastard, Son of a Bitch!!!!!! Big Dude, who I originally thought would be unnecessary, was definitely needed to hold my leg down. I saw the needle and I thought, "Are you effing kidding me?"

This is not the actual needle. I stole this picture off someone's blog. The Dr. did say he used a 22 gauge spinal needle, which is what this is a picture of.

Dr.: "Going to feel a pinch now." The room starts to spin, I start my Lamaze breathing, and Big Dude lets out a "Wo!" I guess I was stronger than he expected. The suckiest part was that the pain was not constant. Sharp, then dull, then nothing, then nerve shock through my entire body. It hurt so bad I screamed like the stupid girls on TV giving birth. No lie.

The Dr. dug around, dug around, dug around some more and then said, "I am sorry, but I can't get it at this angle. I am going to have go again in a different spot." It is a good thing Big Guy was holding my leg, or I would have successfully kicked the Dr. in the teeth. I swear it took 5 minutes to do the first foot.

The second went much smoother, but I still screamed. After it was all over, nurses walking by kept poking their heads in to see who was making all the ruckus. They would say things like, "Ha Ha, What are you doing to her, Dr. Are you killing her or something?" "Wow, you sure can scream." Even the girl who checked me out commented on the noise. I was mortified.

Today, I can't even walk on the foot he jabbed twice. All in all. . . I am never getting a cortisone shot again, and when my body tells me to stop running I will listen.