Joys of Motherhood

Top 10 things I love about being Mom.

10. Tension headaches!
9. Waking early every morning to gigantic, stinky, poopy diaper.
8. The mom stutter. "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" or "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"
7. Cheerios on the floor, in my purse, in the car, in my bed, in the couch, . . . you get the idea.
8. Kate screaming from the bathroom, "I'm done!"
7. Permanent black marker all over the legs of our new table. (I swear we didn't even own a permanent black marker. Where the hell did he find that!?!"
6. Milk art on the carpet created with a drippy bottle.
5. When I forget I am in public and yell at the kid in my demon voice. Everyone stares at me with the "Wo, she's a psycho mom" look and then they give the children a look of pity.
4. Having to clean the stashed sippy or bottle now containing some sort of cheese rather than milk.
3. Needing to mop the kitchen floor everyday. (Needing to, not actually doing)
2. Kate telling everyone in line at the grocery store that I am an idiot. (I made a mistake filling out a deposit slip at the bank and said to the bank teller, "Sorry I'm an idiot." Kate won't let me forget it. She tells everyone!)
1. Jonas using my nipples as a hand hold for pulling himself up onto my lap.

Worst Calling Ever!

Please Heavenly Father, never ask me to be a nursery leader! I will say, "Noooooo."

10-15 18 mo. - 2 year olds, bawling, stinking, snotting. Shut in one room for 2 hours. After church is over and I pick up Jonas (who of course is sweet smelling, smiling, and clean) the room is warm, moist and smells like pee.