That Monkey Boy is killin' me. These are some of the highlights of my day.
During breakfast MB threw handfuls of egg and toast onto the just mopped floor.
I came out of my bedroom from putting some laundry away to find Angel Baby laying on the floor in the hallway by his car seat. "Huh, I swear I remember laying him on the couch, but yet here he is kicking and staring in the middle of the floor." MB had picked him up, carried him across the room and tried to put him in the car seat. When reprimanded (screamed at and shot at with flaming darts out of my eyes) for picking up the baby he said, "Bonk head!" and pointed to the handle of the car seat which was in the up position. "Did you bonk Baby's head on the car seat?" I asked. "Ya!" He proudly replied. Somehow through all this Angel Baby was A-okay and not crying.
Then we went to a store that shall not be named, and the little turd ran away from me in the parking lot. It was really hard not to beat him.
While in the store I am too embarrassed to name, he wouldn't sit in the cart. We fought, he screamed and cried, and I gave in, letting him walk. In the electronics department, Soccer was playing on all the big beautiful TVs. He bolted away from me shouting "Bay-ball, Bay-ball" (all sports are baseball).
When I caught him I yanked him up as roughly as I dared in public and shoved him into the cart. He screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed. For those of you who don't know what Monkey Boy looks like when he screams here is a picture.
It's not pretty. I think he could fit a Volleyball in his mouth.
We headed over to the fabric dept. where he continued his display of displeasure. I spied several women including the Fabric Cutter giving me, "Good hell, that kid is out of contol," and "Why can't that mom shut that brat up" and "She must be a horrid mother," looks. Mighty judgmental for shoppers of "The Store that Must not be Named" if you ask me.
Out at the car he ran away again so I pinned him with my leg against the back of the 4-runner while I loaded my purchases in the car.
He tormented Drama Queen all the way home.
Now he is napping and, thank the Lord, by the time we got home all that screaming had made him tired enough he went down without a fight.
I dread waking him up, but it must be done. I have to pick up Drama Queen from pre-school. I love being a stay-at-home mom! *hint of sarcasm*
7 years ago
4 comments:
You make it sound so fun. Although, it's probably punishment for your shopping there.
word verification: ditio
I have learned this the hard way. Try it if you wish. before we get out of the car I go get a kart (you might get sued for leaving your kids alone for 3 seconds but oh well) then I get the kids in the kart and make them look me in the eyes "we are going in the store your job is to stay in the Kart" (i like cart with a K) If you try to get out or use outside voices we will leave the store without buying our things" "ok? do you understand"? get a YES from them
then go in the store, mine tried to get out... leaning over the edge with one leg hanging out of the side of the Kart. I turned around and left, they cried and cried...
we were out of Milk, so the next morning when they asked me I want some Milk, i said "sorry you guys didn't do your Job at the store so we couldn't by milk" Dakota said "oh that's right"
The next trip... AWESOME!!!! and that is our store rule In the Kart! sometimes I buy them an unexpected treat without telling them (if they do their Job of course)
Good luck.
your monkey boy and my monkey boy sound like they were separated at birth.
I had to wait until it didn't hurt to laugh to read this. I have been waiting and lightly laughing for days building up for it. Totally worth it.
You are so funny.
Also, when these two grow up, you are going to be outnumbered.
Post a Comment