A long time ago I wrote this top 10 list. I decided it was time for an update.
10. When Monkey Boy screams, "I WANT CAKE!!!" with his big bawling snake mouth over and over and over and over again the entire time I am in the grocery store.
9. Stepping on those effing LeapFrog magnetic alphabet blocks. Why the Hell did I buy that thing?!? It's not like Drama Queen can practice spelling with it. 90% of the blocks are under the fridge and the other 10% are under my feet.
8. Happy Angel Baby head-butts on the bridge of my nose.
7. Barbie movies. Listen to the lovely song that ends up on repeat in my head. And just when it stops, Drama Queen starts singing it again. Love that harmony. It is so shrill it makes my hair stand on end.
6. Pee!
5. Little trails of baby vomit.
4. Sharing my bed, and my pillow with a barely potty trained little boy. M.B. routinely gets up at 4 am, shuffles to the end of our bed, grabs my big toe to pull himself up onto the bed, and then smashes himself next to me for the rest of the night. Hubby gets his half of the bed all to himself. Monkey Boy lays as close to me as possible, I scoot a little for some breathing room, and he scoots even closer, plastering his sweaty little body to me. I am left gripping the edge of the mattress trying not to roll off onto my night stand.
3. Trying to diaper and clothe an octopus baby who is doing an alligator death roll.
2. "Fetch Mom, Fetch! Good girl!" Angel baby loves this game. Usually he plays this when I am distracted, talking to the receptionist at the Dr.'s office or something. I give him a toy to keep him occupied, he throws it on the floor, I bend down and pick it up, I hand it back to him, he throws it on the floor. This usually goes on at least 5 times before I realize what is going on. By this time the receptionist or whoever I am trying to carry on a conversations with is looking at me like I am a complete moron and justifiably so.
1. Holding DQ on my lap, she looks up at me with lovey eyes and says, "I love you so much!" then with confusion, pointing to my chin, "I thought girls don't get hairs on their chins."
3 comments:
Lol. You need to write a book.
Oh! You make motherhood sound so glamorous. I can hardly wait.
Rolling laughter. And that song is so awful it reminds me why I put up with VeggieTales so often. My favorite parenting moments are when I've sent Brighton to time out for yelling, and he keeps yelling and yelling and yelling until I'm yelling, and we both end up in time out for the next two minutes. I'm stiing in my time out place, facing the wall, and practicing controlled breathing. Interestingly enough, it always calms him down. Great post, as always.
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