Everything I Needed to Know About Parenting I Learned at Petsmart

Only a few months after Hubby and I got married, I decided I needed a puppy. We justified this by believing that Jackson (Hubby's Dog) needed a friend because we were gone a lot. Now we have two monster beasts tearing up our backyard and costing a small fortune in dog food. I sometimes regret getting that second dog and I will admit there have been a few times, after they worked together to rip a new hole in their metal kennel, run way, and made me chase them down, I have considered kicking them into oncoming traffic. But even after all that, I truly believe training and owning a dog prepares you for parenthood.

Really if you think about it there isn't that much difference between a 3 year old and a dog. Dogs pee all over your house, 3 year olds pee all over your house. Dogs ruin your furniture, 3 year olds jump, climb, draw on and yes mine even chews on the furniture. Dogs don't understand the majority of the things you ask them to do, 3 year olds understand but, choose not to do what you ask them to do. Dogs stink, 3 year olds (especially boys) stink. Dogs sniff your crotch, Okay, my 3 year old doesn't sniff my crotch, but he is the perfect height for a good headbutt in the crotch.

When I got my puppy, my hubby thought I should take a puppy class at Petsmart because I had never trained a dog before. The lessons I learned there have proven to be invaluable. If you are thinking about having kids, borrow someone's dog and take a class. If you have particularly unruly young children, perhaps you could just take them to puppy class and the other participants wouldn't notice or may just wonder what breed you had.

If you can't get to a class here are some of the key lessons I learned from Petsmart Puppy Class:

* You are the master. You have to establish dominance in the relationship. If you don't, you might as well throw in the proverbial towel.

* You shouldn't beat them to make them behave.

* Good behavior and tricks are taught by consistent rewards i.e. treats or bribes. Be honest, if you are a parent you have taught your offspring tricks in order to show off how amazing, smart or adorable they are.

* Success takes continual practice and consistency.

* Don't get sucked into their games. e.g. Chasing a dog that is running away from you accomplishes nothing because the dog thinks it is a game.
**The teacher actually told us when the dog runs away, you should lay face down and the dog will think you are hurt and come to you. Yes, I have lain face down on a stranger's front lawn before, but that is a story for another time.

* When you are reprimanding them, use a loud growl-y voice, like a mean dog. This works especially well with children!

Some commands that work equally well with dogs and children:

"Stay" "Sit" "Heel" "Leave it!" "Play Dead"