If Only I Were as Funny

I read "The Toddler Contract" in a parenting magazine at my sis-n-law's house.

These are the highlights:

I. Food

5. For dinner I will have macaroni and cheese. Any attempts to give me vegetables in addition to the macaroni and cheese will result in tears.

a. And don't you dare hide anything in the cheese sauce, because, my God, how you will rue the day.

II. Television

1. The TV will be on all the time unless I say differently. You are to sit by my side, quietly, hands folded in lap, while I watch my shows.

a. You may arise to fetch me a snack.

III. Toys.

1. There will be many.

a. They will always be strewn about the house so that I amay simply reach down and pick up a toy, no matter where I am.

b. They will be loud, complicated, and contain many small pieces. I enjoy shooting noises that go w-shoooooop! or zim zim zim.

c. Nothing that results in any type of learning, please.

Thank you Parenting magazine writer, Alice Bradley, where ever you may be, for giving me a little chuckle.