Nasty Little Bastards!!!!

Kate has been getting bug bites since we moved here. She only got them once in a while and at first we attributed them to the fire ants in our front yard. However, last time she got them she hadn't been in the front yard.

So, I began searching her room. I got the flash light, pulled the bed out from the wall and searched for the guilty party. I expected to find a spider. No, not a spider, a weird little flat bug with his nose buried in the carpet. I scooped the little guy up in a princess teacup, and took him into John and the computer.

Hmmm, not a beetle, not a flea, not a brown dog tick, a BED BUG!!!! What in the hell?!?!?!?!? I feel the bile rising to the surface.

As we continue to educate ourselves on everything bed bug, from the history to the methods of extermination, my nausea increases and I am on the verge of tears. Apparently the little bastards can survive for over a year with out a "blood meal." They just hide in a crack somewhere and wait for a new warm body to show up. They were most likely lying in wait when we moved into the house. (At least I don't remember picking up any used mattresses off the side of the road?)

After about 1/2 an hour of John researching and reporting the gruesome details, I am ready to start a bonfire in the backyard, burn all of our furniture, and move to a new house.

When I told John my plans, he said, "No."

The good news is: 1) we must not have a lot of them because we can't find all the other signs, like spotted mattress and walls from the little bastards' poop. 2) They generally don't spread to the rest of the house. 3) If they are in the bedding and stuffed animals all we have to do is pop them in the dryer for a few minutes and burn the little bastards and their spawn up. 4)John can spray the floor and walls once a week for a while and they should be taken care of.

I have quarantined Kate's room, she is now sleeping in the guest room, and I am dreaming of bed bugs the size of golf balls attacking me while I try and beat them to death with a sippy cup.