Whizzer

This morning as I sat on the couch feeding Angel Baby, I heard Monkey boy's shuffle run to the bathroom, the smack of the toilet seat being lifted, and the splat of urine hitting the rim of the toilet, the wall, the floor, hitting anything but the water. There was an occasional tinkle as the urine passed from the wall to the floor at his feet, but mostly just a splat sound. "That's it! I am buying a urinal," I think to myself.

I have tried everything I can think of to get this kid to pee in the toilet. At first I thought, I'll just make him sit. He peed over the seat and hit the wall opposite him. Then I thought I would teach him to aim it himself. I threw some cheerios in the toilet and told him to take aim. He peed all over his hand and the wall behind the toilet. I bought a potty seat with a guard, he peed over the guard. My bathroom smells like an outhouse. Even the cleaner I use now registers as pee in my mind.

I checked on-line. You can get a urinal for less than $100. There is room for one next to the toilet in the kid's bathroom. Don't be surprised if the next time you visit, my bathroom has a new fixture.