I Hate Valentine's Day. . .

10. because people pronounce it ValentiMes.

9. because stuffed animals are stupid, especially when they are holding hearts or kissing.

8. because putting stuffed animals inside a giant balloon doesn't make them cooler.

7. because I have to buy and fill out 20+ stupid little pieces of paper for DQ's classmates.

6. because DQ gets 20+ very "precious" pieces of paper from school that she will not let me throw away.

5. because phrases like, "The beauty of these roses cannot match the beauty and depth of the love I feel for you" or "Flowers today, Fireworks tonight!" make me barf a little in my mouth.

4. because most chocolates that come in cardboard hearts are gritty.

3. because with the money spent on a dozen roses that will die in 2 days, you could feed a small country.

2. because white conversation hearts changed and now taste like soap instead of yummy

1. because the red and pink lacy lingerie displays in every store remind you that you now have 3 kids and by the time they are all in bed, you are way to tired for such exotic shenanigans.

Delinquent Version of an Apology

It's little things like this that keep me from going insane at my job.

Funny teaching moment #1

I overheard one of our students ask, "How do you spell "wore"?

Another student mockingly laughs and replies, "Huh-huh, you don't know how to spell "wore"!? W-H-O-R. Duh!"

Funny teaching moment #2

Little 15 year old, oh let's call him Jimmy, got written up and kicked out of math class for about the bazillionth time. We are running out of "Respect your Teachers" and "Choices Lead to Consequences" speeches. None of the speeches, parent conferences, or suspensions have been able to reach his purple hazed brain to make any kind of difference. So, my principal thought instead of wasting her time on yet another lecture, maybe he could spend time reflecting and writing a letter of apology to the math teacher.

Here it is:

Dear Mr. Math Teacher,

im sorry for interupting class even though most of the time i wasn't talking. I hate how you look around at everyone who is talking and screwing around but yet wait till i start talking or screwing around, you write me up. Im sorry for not doing the work and getting an F on that test but i bet if you came over and try to help me like i asked i probably would of done better. Im sorry for calling you names like Buzz lightyear even when you were OK with it and didn't seem to mind. Im sorry for leaving without asking, that was my doing only because you would most likely say no. Im sorry for saying your favorite movie is Brokeback Mountain. even, if it was funny. And im sorry for saying your belt is a slope which is true but uncalled for. LOL.

From: Jimmy
P.S. chillax

Despite the sad view this gives us of the education level and writing ability of a 15 year old and the unfortunate statement it makes about a teenager's understanding of accountability and owning up to your stupidity rather than blaming it on others, I had to laugh. I laughed until I cried.

Immorality

I play the piano for primary at church. A little guy got up and gave the scripture today,

"Behold, this is my work and my glory, to bring to pass the immorality of man."

Immorality, no problem, I can do that.