"At-Risk" Lexicon.

Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics
just one explication really and it is a direct quote

Most of you know I have worked with "At-risk" teenagers most of my teaching career. I have been out of the "biz" for the past 2 years because I have been attempting to raise my kiddos.

I have returned. Different school, different state, same kids. Teaching little delinquents is a little like watching Jerry Springer, you are so horrified you can't change the channel.

I have decided to share a few statements that have survived in infamy over my career and some new ones I am sure will join them.

Here are some student classics, sure to remain with me forever, or maybe just a really long time.

1. "Redickless": Misspelling of the word ridiculous.

When to use: Incredibly appropriate for many ridiculous situations.

2. "How'ma gonna smoke this, Bitch!": Statement made by a student to a store clerk who wouldn't sell her wrapping papers for her marijuana. She allegedly pulled out her bag of weed and showed it to the clerk to illustrate her point. Not so genius when you are wearing your school uniform.

When to use: This statement is perfect whenever one does not get their way, even if the situation doesn't involve elicit drug use.

3. "But don't you see, it's just like Days of our Lives!": Comment made during a conflict resolution between a girl, "Aspiring Porn Star" and her boyfriend "Thought She Truly Loved Me". Thought She Truly Loved Me(TSTLM) and Aspiring Porn Star (APS) had been together for at least a year, but all along she had been dating an older boy (Hotter than You) on the side and dropped the "I'm engaged to Hotter than You" Bomb on TSTLM who didn't know that Hotter than You even existed. There was a sea of 16 year old tears during which APS said, "But don't you see, it's just like Days of our Lives!" Yes, little 16 year old children, being a porn star is a quality career choice and yes, life is just like it is on TV.

When to use: Whenever life gets to the unbelievable crazy point, which at my house is ever day.


More Later

Muscle Car Mania

Thanksgiving thankfulness #2 : I am thankful for the 2010 muscle cars. They are so sexy. I feel the same about muscle cars as I did about Jonathan Knight from NKOTB when I was 12. I get giddy every time I see one. I do believe I need to get a poster of the Camaro and hang it above my bed. And every night as I drift off to sleep I will have "Bitchin' Camaro" by The Dead Milkmen running through my head.

"Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro!

I ran over my neighbors
Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro!
Now I'm in all the papers"

Aren't those tail lights hot?!?

I really am a bit befuddled by my recent attraction to cars. In general I have never cared about cars, especially sports cars.


I guess there was that time in my college years that I really really wanted an old land cruiser, but since then practicality has ruled my life.


Perhaps it is a subconscious longing for a little more glamor in my life or the desire for fancy expensive things that I have worked so hard to squelch. Maybe it is the wild, untamed freedom that muscle cars stand for. Maybe I am hitting my midlife crisis early. Whatever the reason, as soon as they add a 3rd row seating option to accommodate my brood, I am buying a muscle car!

Attitude of Gratitude

"Attitude of Gratitude" for some reason that little cheesy, rhymey rhyme makes me want to barf. It is not that I don't believe in being grateful, I sure as hell do! I guess I just don't believe in being cheesy.

So, with that in mind, I am going to jump on the thankful full season of Thanksgiving in this the thankful month of November bandwagon, but in my own, No Excuses, hopefully not too cheesy sort of way.

Today I am thankful I was not born into idiocy.

I work with a lot of kids who were born into complete asinine, idiotic stupidity. The poor stupid things really just don't have a chance. "My momma raised me up good. She was only 16 and didn't have no high school dee-ploma. She smoked pot when she was preggers with me too an look! I turned out just fine. And my daddy, he in jail." You begin to wonder why at some point no one looked around and saw that their life was a complete mess and realized hey, maybe there is a better way to go about things. Perhaps I don't have to start smoking when I am 6, get pregnant by 14, drop out of high school, smoke myself retarded by 18, and by age 20 have 4 kids each with a different daddy and every single one of those daddies in jail. It seems to be a never ending revolving door of dumb dumbs from which there is no escape.

Thank you Heavenly Father for not landing me in that big pile of stinky doo doo.

I am thankful that I was born into a legacy of education and integrity which I am honored to pass on to my children. I am lucky enough to come from pretty smart parents and they had pretty smart parents too. They believed that getting an education and living a moral life were important. So thank you Mom, Dad, Grandpas, Grandmas, Aunts, Uncles, and of course N-laws too for not being idiots or raising idiot children!