Bungeyes, Unwanted Advice, and Other Things that Piss Me Off!

I honestly have tried to refrain from bitching and moaning about being pregnant. You are probably saying to yourself, "Really? Because that is all she writes about latley." Well, I have limited myself. I could write everyday about the new horrors I have faced, like peeing my pants at Marshals or the stupid ass that asked me if I was having twins.

I wish people would quit saying things to me like, "What are you still doing here? I thought that you would be at home with a new baby." or "How far along are you?" "When are you due?" or some other assinine question lets me know they are thinking, "Good hell she is huge, I wonder how she can still be standing upright?"

The other thing I get lately is advice and old wives tales on how to get labor started. "Yes, I have tried taking long walks. Yes, I have tried spicy food. Yes, I have . . . um. . . I really don't like to talk about that with people at church. Yes, I have coughed, sneezed and rubbed my tummy while patting my head."

I am also tired of people staring at me. I catch them staring and I give them the stink eye while in my mind I yell, "What are ya staring at Bung Eyes?!" Usually a few minutes later I reach down and realize 6 inches of my stretch marked belly are hanging below my shirt. Aww, that explained the look of shocked disgust on their faces.

I have been to the hospital twice now, but with no luck. I am positive if I were in Logan I would have had this baby already. Instead of having a Triage Dr. at the hospital they would actually call your doctor (you know the one that actually knows what the hell is going on) and ask him what to do. Oh, and speaking of my Dr., she of course is out of town along with the majority of the other dr.'s in the office. Good Hell!!!!! I have been totally happy with my prenatal care up to this point but what kind of OB office allows the majority of their dr.'s to go on vacation at the same time. I can't get an appointment and who the hell is going to deliver my baby!!!!!

"Get Out Baby!" or Updates on the Lack of Delivery

Thursday night I started having contractions at midnight. I have been having contractions for months now, but these were more hurty and got closer together. At around 4 am they were 5ish minutes apart, so we decided to go to the hospital and get this thing over with.

Got to the hospital, had a hard time walking to the labor and delivery wing because of the ouchy, sat down in their waiting room, and the contractions stopped. Nice! They checked me out and sent me home. Very anticlimactic.

I think maybe the problem is this boy is trying to come out the wrong way because his head is constantly pushing on my bladder. "Sorry kiddo, back it up and try again. Aim a little more towards the rear this time." Every time I have one of those "painless" Braxton Hicks contractions I have to run to the bathroom before I pee my pants. It is getting old.

Some guy at John's work said I couldn't have the baby until Wednesday because they needed to paint the lines on the agility field. Apparently they can't push the painter without him.

I told John to have the guy come say that to my face, so I could kick him in the bladder a few hundred times. I am thinking he would come to the realization that he could probably figure out how to push a painter without John's help.

Anyway, no baby yet, tired of baby head bashing my bladder, tired of peeing, tired of waiting and wondering. Wishing this kid would just hurry up and get here already.