I am a Baker! I Bake!

While my mom was at my house she threatened to take one of my Christmas presents away. It was a big, beautiful book on baking (try and say that 3 times fast). Her reasons for this were as follows:

1. When I pulled out my Kitchen Aide to make Christmas cookies it had cobwebs in it.

2. I had none of the basic baking ingredients on hand, no shortening, no brown sugar, only 2 cups of regular sugar. Hey at least I had flour!

3. Each time my mom got frustrated, I replied, "Hey! I don't bake!"

The reasons I don't bake are:

1. Baking = high fat, high sugar, no nutrition. If it isn't those things it is gagga magga!

2. If there is a pan of brownies in my house, I have to eat it, all of it, and I am not happy until it is gone!

3. Not really all that skilled. I understand cooking, spices, ways to thicken things, substitutions that work. Baking - - not so much. I don't understand why things will raise or go flat or how a batter should look to achieve desired results.

So, I decided to get over my irrational fears. If I bake once in a while it is not going to kill me, and if I don't do it I will never learn the skills, and the things in that book look really good.

I am now going to bake on Sundays. This Sunday I made Cherry Pie.

And here is the recipe:

1. Go to the freezer and get Marie Callender's frozen cherry pie. (The brand is important. Marie is the only one who can make a decent cherry!)

2. Take the pie out of the box, remove the plastic, and put it on a cookie sheet. If you don't remove the plastic, you will be really disappointed.

3. Read the directions on the box. Turn on the oven. Honestly, who has the foresight to pre-heat?

4. Pop that baby in the oven and bake.

Serve with vanilla ice cream on top.

Not Sure a Cat is a Good Pet for Toddlers

Sometimes I am amazed that Kitty even steps foot inside our house. Kate likes to pin her, trap her, and squish her in an effort to "play" with her. Carry her around by her neck, drag her along the floor by her collar, attach various belts and ties to her collar. Good Grief! It is not surprising that Kate is usually sporting several cat scratches on her arms and sometimes face.

Yesterday Kate had to stand in the corner for 10 minutes and lost 2 Scooby Doo videos after she clipped a strap from her dance bag to the cat and then to a binky, pinned the cat under her bed, and the final straw was when I went in her room and the cat was locked inside the oven of her new toy kitchen set. Mmmm Kitty Caserole! I am sure Kate would be happy to give you the recipe.

I guess it isn't as bad as John's cousin's kids who gave their cat a bath with vaseline. The cat and I should be grateful I guess.

Suggestions for the Next Version of Wii Fit

We got Wii Fit for Christmas from John's parents. It is a lot of fun.

For those of you who are unfamiliar it is a balance board that looks quite a bit like a bathroom scale. It senses your weight shifts to measure your balance and movements. The game has strength, yoga, aerobic and balance exercises.

The game also contains lots of comments, words of encouragement, etc. that are not so subtle hints that you are fat and out of shape. I think the phrases should be less passive-agressive and more direct.

Each day you are supposed to weigh yourself and do a little balance test. It gives you your BMI number. When I step on the bar goes up and up and up and up and then the game says, "That's Obese!" I think the new version should say something like. "Wo, you're a fatty!"

When I step on the balance board to begin an activity the game says "Ohw" It's kind of a combination of "Oh" and "Ouch"

When Kate steps on (she has a healthy weight) the game says, "Great!"

Maybe in the next version it could say various phrases like, "Get off! I can't breath!" or if you haven't played in a while, "Hey, Fat Ass, I missed ya" or maybe just a simple "Good Grief!"

As you play your trainer gives you tips, suggestions and encouragement. Mostly they just insult you in a friendly voice. May I suggest some straight forward phrases like,

"Hmmm, you kind of suck at this, keep up the work and maybe you will improve."

"Wow, I am surprised that someone as chunky as you can actually finish this exercise."

"Better luck next time, Spazzo!"

Evil, Evil, Evil Brownies!

I can't post this recipe on my other blog because, well, it is not conducive to weight loss in any way. My philosophy is don't deny yourself and make choices. Like I choose to have a brownie, not emotional eating an entire pan out of control. These brownies paralyze your power to say "No thanks, I am good with just one"

Praline Brookies

Ingredients

1 box brownie mix (plus the eggs, veggie oil and water)

1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup coarsely chopped pecans (which I leave out because pecans are icky)
1/2 tsp vanilla

1 roll refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough

1. Heat oven to 350 and Pam-up a 13x9 baking pan. Prepare your brownie mix as directed on the box. Spread batter evenly in pan. Lick spoon and bowl clean. Bake 25 min.

2. While that is in the oven, in a saucepan heat butter, milk, sugars, pecans and vanilla to boiling over medium heat, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat and set aside until brownies are baked.

3. Pull brownies out of oven and promptly pour praline mixture over them. Cut the cookie dough into 16 slices and lay them on top in 3 rows of 5 slices each and then use the last slice to fill in the spaces. (Ya, whatever, crumble the cookie dough on top and try not to squish the half baked brownies)

4. Stick the pan back in the oven for another 23 -28 minutes. Now, lick the praline spoon and pan clean. Once the ooey gooey goodness is done let it cool 2 hours (or 5 minutes).

This recipe came out of a fantastic cookie and bar book called Best of the Pillsbury Bake-Off Cookies & Bars

Aah, Thanks Disneyland!

Disneyland sent THIS to my e-mail. I love them!!

New Blog

Yes I started yet another blog. I will probably have to downsize one of these days.

I am trying something a little different. I got really pissed off about the stress weight I gained last month so I thought about going to a trainer at my gym. Way too expensive. So then I thought about why I needed a trainer. It came down to accountability. I need something that won't let me quit. I had great success on good old weight watchers because I had to stand on the stupid scale every week in front of someone. So, I decided to blog about it. Can't quit because all of you would know.

I am also putting advertising on that blog. I am interested to see if you can in fact make any money blogging.

With that said, here is the new blog address. http://dietprogramdropout.blogspot.com

Then Why Don't I Have Evil Minions to Do My Bidding?

This is what I feel like today.